if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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