Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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