i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
