WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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