That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize