Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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