none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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