Umm I'm too high to move.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
