i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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