It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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