Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
