weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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