you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
