I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
