I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
