Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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