Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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