Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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