went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
