I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
My dick has a subreddit
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
