Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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