Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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