addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
