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He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
