If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Randomize
