do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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