All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize