I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
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