No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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