just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
