I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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