You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
