And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
