WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
