Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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