He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
