that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
And then my night got REAL pukey
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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