Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
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