You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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