Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
