I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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