Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
