How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i would punch a child for taco bell
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
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