We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
