ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
