yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
