You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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