you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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