i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
