yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
