I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
