I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Someone signed my nipple.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize