Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
