Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
