It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
zippers are such a cool invention
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize