physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
