I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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