just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
