Please, let me fuck your mom
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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