yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
not ubering you a puppy
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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