you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
