btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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