Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize