dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
