sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
where are you?
Hypothermia
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
